I got an e-mail yesterday about the video editing software Magix Vegas – formerly Sony Vegas – formerly Sonic Foundry Vegas – being sold to BorisFX, a company who’s video effects plugins I’ve used here-and-there over the years.
They are still selling licenses for the new Vegas as a one-time purchase. A part of me wants to buy it…then I thought about it…and the sobering realization is hitting me.
I don’t edit video anymore.
I have a copy of Vegas 21. I’ve never edited a video with it. I have a copy of Davinci Resolve. I only used it to re-edit my wedding video a year ago. I haven’t made a new project since. My copy of Affinity Photo is used for occasional cropping and touch-ups for random work that comes up, but if I didn’t already have a copy, I couldn’t justify getting one. The aforementioned copy of Vegas came with the companion music creation tool of ACID Pro, but I didn’t make anything with it. I DJ’d a few events last year, but my turntable setup at home collected dust far more than it received any usage. Hell, I pay to host this blog, but I haven’t made a post since last year – even when the barrier to creativity is the lowest (blogging takes less time, equipment, and effort than filming or DJing), I…haven’t.
Now, perhaps I would make the argument that a lot of my creativity has been restructured into learning. I’ve recently gotten better at understanding amateur radio, and have made a number of international contacts and learned to program my handheld radios. I’ve done some work on the IT side, having gotten a better understanding of Docker, and worked on implementing some new software stacks there. I’m not spending my days doomscrolling on Tiktok. I’ve got maybe 30 hours of total video game play time last year. I’ve got actual-work done at my actual-job. I’ve most definitely been productive – just not creative…and now that I’m breaking my silence on the blog…it’s my musings about not-being-creative, which is rather circular.
As I’m just a few days away from turning forty, I think I’ve realized why: I think the uncomfortable reality for me is that I am not artistic. Now, sure, you’ll see things I’ve made over the years in different places. I don’t know if anyone remembers the videos I made when I made them for youth group, or if anyone still watches the wedding video I produced during the time I did that professionally…but that’s what I’m getting at. I forget whether it was Len or Jason from Midnight Oil who said, “the difference between design and art is that design answers a question, while art asks a question”. I did a good amount of design work when there were announcements that needed to be made at youth group, or a wedding video that needed to be touched up, or flyers to answer who/what/when/where for volleyball nights in my twenties, or church banners in my thirties. I’m solid-but-not-revolutionary with the technical elements of DJing, but I’ve never made up my own routine that wasn’t part of event prep. I’ve generated background music for videos, but never written a song. When there is a purpose, I can rise to the occasion…but I can’t recall a time I’ve done “art for art’s sake”. I don’t think I’ve ever caused anyone to think more deeply as a result of any output I’ve made with creative software…and Lord knows I have no skills when given canvas or clay.
Maybe I can’t create something that causes the viewer to ask a question…and maybe the real takeaway is that I need to be okay having a role at being effective at answering them instead. But maybe, that’s the truly uncomfortable truth I’m realizing right now – it’s been too long since anyone asked me to help them answer a question, either.
